Reasons
by Joey Luna
Summary: For some reason, Kyoka Jiro is kind of conflicted.
1. Unusual

For some reason, I started doing it with Midoriya.

I can vaguely remember anything that happened last night, it has been on my mind since first period this morning. I twirl my jacks on my fingers as my thought lingers on a question:

 _Why him?_

It came to me as a surprise actually, of all the boys in class, I was with the most awkward one. If anything, I thought it'd be Kaminari, but he didn't do anything despite my constant attempts of getting in his nerves. Yaomomo? Honestly, I love her, but it's kinda obvious she has a thing for Todoroki... not that I have a problem with it. But why Midoriya? I don't even talk to him, heck I barely even know what he feels about doing this.

Feel? What exactly was I thinking when I asked him to do this? As the sound of flesh pounding against one another echoes in my head, I can never truly understand why I approached him. I've never been interested in this sexual bullshit; for all I know, I just wanted a nice, normal life with someone who could be there with me... that is considering what 'normal' is when you're training to be a hero.

The question kept dragging my attention away from class until I realized that it was actually time to head back to the dorms. We would often catch glimpses of each other, Midoriya obviously trying to avoid eye contact.

"Chocolate or Strawberry?"

I turned to face Momo, currently holding a bunch of sweets we bought earlier today. I grabbed the former and started to consume it. Heh, consume, where the heck did I get that word? As I continue with my snack, I noticed Midoriya at the corner of my eye sitting next to a bowl of his so-called protein diet. For some reason I've really been craving chocolates lately.

Crap.

I remember now.

It was midnight, I couldn't sleep. I found myself wandering around the halls of the dorm searching for something that could help me sleep. Normally, someone would've closed the lights on the hall, then I wouldn't be doing this. As I proceed to the common room, I grabbed a little midnight snack on the way. For some reason, I've been craving for some chocolates. I sat on the couch, with my face buried to my knees. I tried to read something online to tire my eyes out, but nothing seems to work. I turned outside, only to find a mysterious figure there. Being a hearing hero, and having experience in stealth from my internship, I snuck out to the courtyard to see my target. Clad in blue trackpants and a white Tee with the caption 'T-shirt', I saw a nerd. Messy green hair and a face you would mistake for an innocent child, Izuku Midoriya. I slowly walked up behind him, to catch him off guard. Thinking about his training, I brushed off the idea of surprising him; I wouldn't wanna be out cold for trying to get him surprised. Instead I walked to him and called him out.

"Hey, Midoriya"

As I did, he flinched. He slowly turned to face me and tried to come up with either a greeting or an excuse.

"H-Hey... Jiro"

"What were you doing here?"

He then sighed and grabbed himself a towel to wipe off the sweat dripping from his face to his shirt.

"I was... um... training..."

"In the middle of the night?"

"I-I'm kinda used to getting up early a-and train" he said scratching the back of his head.

"Lying"

"W-What?"

My question obviously caught him off-guard. He then looks flustered, like he's trying to come up with an excuse. He looked like he was caught by his mother staying up late and... training endurance.

"You do know that you suck at lying, right? Too innocent of a kid to even be lying."

Besides can you see the bugs underneath your eyelids? They're huge enough to actually put villains to shame. I turned my gaze to the night's sky, or midnight's sky to be accurate. Either it's just me, or I saw a comet pass through like that old hero Gran Torino.

"Well?"

I hear him sigh again, I looked down to face him, eyes glued to the ground and his left hand grasping his right elbow.

"Can I tell you something?"

I didn't answer, but I think he knew that it was his cue to proceed.

"Lately, I've been having... nightmares of... villains I've faced..."

It is to be expected though, Midoriya has the most experience in encounters with villains, both him and Bakugo. And I guess it's also a part of being a hero, haunting nightmares of dangerous people you've faced.

"At first... it was the sludge monster before UA... then the USJ... then Stain... then... then Shigaraki..."

He paused, I can sense him shivering the moment he mentioned Shigaraki. The incident at the USJ is very terrifying, especially for someone that actually saw what the League did to Aizawa-sensei. I faced Midoriya, examining him thoroughly. The tired look on his face... the sweat-filled shirt he's wearing... and his composure...

"Midoriya, come with me"

He didn't hesitate and followed me carefully and quietly to keep anyone from waking up unexpectedly. I led him to my room and locked the door the moment he entered.

"J-Jiro, w-what do you need?"

I sat on the bed, looking him in those tired eyes. I took a deep breath and said what I never thought I would say.

"Have sex with me"

I was brought back to reality when Momo tapped me on my shoulder, wearing a worried look.

"Jiro-san, are you alright? You zoned out for quite a while. Were you thinking of something?"

I turned back to where I was looking before I zoned out, he's gone.

"It's nothing, sorry for zoning out like that"

Playing an instrument doesn't really disturb anyone, considering the walls weren't as thin as people claim to be. Looking back at it now, it really didn't make any sense why I asked Midoriya to do that.

Was it because of what he looks like?

or was it because of a certain interest?

Don't get me wrong, he's jacked. His chiseled form has always been a magnet and topic for some of the girls when brought up. I just wasn't as interested in it like Uraraka was. I honestly don't know what caused me to do that, but I do know one thing,

he slept peacefully the entire night,

and that was enough to put me to sleep.


	2. Interest

For some reason, I started dating Midoriya

After sorting out the whole 'casual relationship' thing, we both agreed to continue this relationship... just with a little more intimacy.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that we just decided about it, we actually had qualms with it. Like, what would everyone would say.

 _'The dorky nerd and the unfeminine rocker'_

Mismatch in taste and description. But it's not like we don't like each other. You know how in most casual relationships, one of them is bound to develop feelings for the other? Well that's what happened, and in my defense, he is pretty irresistible.

It was on a heated night in his room after our recent encounter, the night we both agreed to end our... carnal meetings. We decided to do it one last time as it probably would be a while before the both of us would eventually have partners of our own. He... accidentally blurted out that he ' _loves_ ' me before the climax, and I... Well... His face was just too adorable to say no to. It's like he was about to cry because his favorite action figure was confiscated... only in this situation, I'm the action figure. So in the heat of the moment where Midoriya looks like he was about to burst, I grabbed his cheeks and pressed my lips on his. We never did kiss while doing this, so why did I do it now? As he blew everything he's got into the contraceptive, he returned the kiss passionately.

I actually enjoyed it.

After we broke off of each other, he laid on his back beside me, staring into the ceiling. Catching his breath as if he had just run a thousand kilometer dash. It was a few minutes atter that when I decided to break the silence.

"You broke our deal"

"...Sorry"

I turned to face him, his eyes filled with disappointment yet still glued to the ceiling. I sighed at his reaction, after everything we've been through, I guess seeing him sad or disappointed hurts me a bit.

"Don't be... I mean I did kiss you"

He remained silent. Something tells me that he's gonna punish himself for saying three words mid-sex. I sat up on the bed, sighing as something ridiculous just popped into my head.

"Midoriya"

He flinched the moment he heard me mention his name.

"We did agree that this is our last night... But I have something to ask of you"

"W-What is it... Jiro?"

He rose up and turned to face me, still with the same disappointed look in his eyes.

"Was it true? What you said, is it true?"

His eyes then fell on the drapes, he felt tense. I knew this was a bad idea.

"I do... love you, Jiro... and I know it's ridiculous since I barely know you... but even so... I always get the same feeling when I'm with you... like, I don't want to be separated from you... or I would be jealous when I see you with Kaminari... I-I know it sounds clingy but... I only hope that after this, I would still be with you."

Shit.

The events of last night's engagements occupied my train of thoughts for a while. I stared at the wall of my room for about an hour now, thinking what could possibly go wrong. I mean, having a boyfriend is kind of at the bottom of my list. I didn't expect it to happen now, and we barely know each other. So... damn.

Why the heck did I ask him out?

As I prepared to leave for my first... 'date', I made sure to check if anyone would see me going out. I had Izuku go to our meet up about fifteen minutes earlier, hopefully he's not bored of waiting for me. I opened the fridge and grabbed a snack before proceeding to exit the dorm,

"Jiro, where are you going?"

Momo, I swear to god, I love you but I really don't have time for this. I turned to see our class officer, she seemed to be dressed up for something.

"Where are _you_ going?"

Momo seemed nervous, but ultimately answers my question.

"I'm going to the mall with Todoroki-kun, he said he wanted some help in looking for a gift for his mother."

"Oh... I'm going to the mall too. I... kinda forgot to but something last time."

"That's great, wanna come with us?"

As I'm perfectly fine hanging out with both Momo and Todoroki individually, I very much do mind being the third wheel. Especially when I'm going on a date myself.

"Sure"

The mall was almost always full of people, but today seemed like a fine day. There's not enough people around and there's a relative amount of places Midoriya and I can go to. Momo and I met with Todoroki at the mall, he turns to look at me with a look of acknowledgement? What? Okay, that's weird. Now, to rid these two of yours truly...

"Oh, hey Momo, I need to go check something. I'll probably meet you guys back at the dorm"

As I wave the both of them goodbye, Todoroki discretely nodded directly to a hero merchandize outlet. I'm confused, but I went along with it. I entered the store and immediately found a messy pile of green hair ogling over the All Might Tees. Heh. Todoroki, you fox.

"Midoriya."

He tensed up as he heard me call his name. He slowly turned around and went stiff. What? Is there something at my face?

We took a short walk through the mall, trying to avoid anyone from school. It was kinda nice walking with Midoriya, I kind of liked it. It's not as enjoyable as with Momo, and it's not as uneventful as with Kaminari. We decided to stopped by the food court and have lunch, and possibly get our stories straight.

"So, Midoriya. What is it about me that you like?"

He stopped eating for a while after my question, I could hear his heart beating as he went silent for a good minute. He swallowed his food and sighed to calm himself down.

"W-Well... You are... uhhh... You're wonderful... And I like talking to you."

Wow. Really? I asked this guy out? To be fair, I got us into this mess.

"So you're saying that you like me... because you like talking to me? Dude, I'm pretty sure you never tell anyone mid-sex that you love them cuz you like talking to them."

"T-That's-"

"And make sure you don't really fall in love with someone you barely have conversations with, we never spoke for more than 5 minutes."

"Jiro-"

"And if I kinda led you on because of our... nights together, I'll apologize to that-"

"Kyoka!"

I tensed up, hearing my name as silence engulfed our table. Did I say too much? His eyes glued to his meal, not moving even an inch away from it. Though I am completely positive I don't have feelings for Midoriya, hearing him say my name kind of made my heart skip a beat. Crud.

"I'm sorry! But I don't know how to put what I feel into words, I can't understand it myself. I don't know how I love you, but I don't doubt it either."

Is he... tearing up? Crap, no more babyface Midoriya, I can't handle it.

He looked up to face me. _Damn it._ His expression, broken down in tears. He looks like he's trying not to cry and is obviously failing at it spectacularly. Great, now I feel terrible. I hope I won't regret doing this.

"P-Please... don't hate me-"

I couldn't let this continue, I couldn't bare to see that look in his eyes. I carefully grabbed his cheeks, and planted a kiss on his forehead.

"I'm sorry for making you cry, I really am."

He raised his head to face me, I smiled... well, smirked.

"If you wouldn't mind, Izuku, I can be your girlfriend."

I really don't understand why I would do that, but seeing him smile after I said that... I now know.

I know that I have to protect that smile.


	3. Jealous

For some reason, I'm starting to get jealous of how close Uraraka is to Midoriya

It's been about a week since our date in the mall, a week since we started dating. Nobody knows yet, and I would like to keep it that way.

Honestly, it's not that I'm scared of being caught with Midoriya. I'm scared of what they might say about us; we went pass the whole 'friendship' phase and went immediately to screwing.

Though we were dating, we never went back to our nightly meetings. Most intense thing we did was hold hands, that's it. No kissing, no sex, not even foreplay. For a relationship that started with benefits, this week has been pretty decent.

It's lunch time, Momo had to discuss something with Todoroki so she had me sit with her at their table. Iida, at the moment, had errands to run as the class representative, so it's just Todoroki, Momo, Uraraka, Midoriya, and yours truly. I sat next to Momo, who was sitting opposite to Todoroki. I saw Midoriya tense up when I sat directly in front of him, jeez, calm down dude.

It seems that Momo and Todo are talking about their recent outing, probably planning something out of the blue... Why do I get the feeling that Momo's gonna drag me along in their next 'not-date'. As I sighed at my dear friend's look on her face while talking, I can't help but listen to Midoriya's conversation with Uraraka. He has that smile on his face, the same smile he had that day...

 _"Please don't hate me"_

Why am I suddenly ticked off seeing him give that smile to someone else? I'm his girlf-

"Are you okay, K... Jiro?"

Hearing my name, I turned to face whoever's calling me. Midoriya has that worried look on his eyes, I could've sworn I felt something unusual when I saw them.

"I going to the classroom, see you guys later."

"Okay"

I lied.

I went to the restroom instead, I thought something was odd. I wash my face and sighed. That stupid boy's smile is going to be the death of me. As I dry myself up, I gathered my thoughts on something. I only noticed it now... but Midoriya and Uraraka actually look like they're going out. No bullcrap, they're like an old couple together. It's a match that looks good and feels natural.

What does that make us?

It is unusual, considering the fact that I never did talk to the guy... and he's known her since the first day. I've only gotten to know him for a week and that was because I did something rash. My stomach feels like I ate something alive and it's moving inside. _Ew._

Classes went by in a flash on days like these, never too lively, never too boring. I like it this way. I had Momo come over to my room to help me with homework, but being the ignorant mother goose she is, she somehow found out I was deep in thought of something else, someone else.

"Jiro, are you all right?"

I want to tell her.

"You've been this silent since this morning, did something happen?"

I sighed.

"Momo, how close is Midoriya and Uraraka?"

She has that odd look in her face when I asked that.

"Close enough to make people think they're dating."

Heh. Kyoka, you're an idiot.

"Jiro... the sheets?"

Hearing Momo's voice actually made me check if it was true, I found myself grasping on my sheets too hard. Since when have I been doing this? To hell with it, I trust her with this.

"Momo, I'm... I'm dating Midoriya"

"What?"

"He's my boyfriend"

Momo has this look of shock... which was then overshadowed by a look of interest. It was adorable.

"Since when?"

"A week ago, you were there actually."

"At the mall?"

"Yeh"

So far so good. Momo looks like a lovestruck teenager, like when she read a romance novel. Her face filled with glee and interest, I think I'm starting to regret telling her this.

"Wh-"

"Before you ask anything, I just want to make something clear first."

I decided to tell her this first, cutting her question before it was even asked.

"Though we are dating, I'm pretty sure it was completely one-sided"

Her face of glee was replaced with disappointment after that, also a look of intrigue.

"Midoriya doesn't like you back?"

"No, other way around."

"Then why are you dating?"

Huh, that question got me off guard.

"To be honest, I'm kind of asking myself the same thing. When Midoriya said he loves me, I'm pretty sure I don't feel anything... and I'm confused. I don't really have feelings for him yet I asked him out."

I returned my gaze to the sheets of my bed, my hands grasping the fabric.

"Truth be told, I guess I kind of felt guilty. I don't want him to feel even worse than before I started talking to him, he was a wreck. I feel as if I want to protect him from his nightmares but I don't really know how."

I heard Momo sigh and saw her hand as she placed it on top of mine.

"Jiro, you're a nice person, kind and even caring. I'm sure you're doing this for a bigger reason."

The rest of the night was just silent. Momo returned to her room after our conversation, promising never to speak a word of it to anyone. _A bigger reason?_

I was holding my bass in my hand, strumming lightly as I hear a knock on my door. I carefully laid my guitar on my bed and walked towards the door.

"J-Jiro, you in there? Knock if you are, you don't have to open the door."

Midoriya. I knocked gently back at him and leaned on the door, waiting for him to speak.

"Look, I need to talk to you about something... I don't want this to come between us but... I'm not sure if we can continue this."

I felt something within me drop as I heard him say that.

 _Bullshit_.

"I'm just... I'm just not sure if I could be the person to ever satisfy you. I... I know that you asked me out because you took pity... But if you're unhappy with our relationship, we should end it."

I stood up and opened the door as widely as I can, my eyes being met with emerald ones. Why would you do this? Did something happen when I left them earlier? Did he know of her feelings for him? Did he-

"J-Jiro, stop crying!" he said silently, waving his arms in front of me.

Crying? Have I been crying? I raised a finger to my cheek and felt tears as they flow from my eyes. _I have..._

"L-Look, I-I'm sorry b... but-"

"No **buts** , just don't..."

I don't want it.

"B-But Jiro-"

"Kyoka..."

"W-What?"

"You already called me Kyoka... you already said you love me..."

I'm not having any of it tonight, I need you...

"Please... Please don't leave me..."

Stay with me, because I'll stay with you.


	4. Fever

For some reason, I got sick because of Midoriya.

After that night at my... door, everything felt... different. It's like I felt lighter by talking to him.

 _"Please... Please don't leave me..."_

God, that was embarrassing...

Walking through the halls of the dorm, I was thinking about how I needed to talk to somebody. I need to talk to Momo.

Upon reaching her room, I felt as if I were meeting a guidance counselor instead of a close friend. Knocking on her door was one thing, entering was another. As Momo opens the door to answer my knock, she graciously let me in with a smile on her face.

As I tell Momo what happened after she left the other day, I can see her expressions change in a cartoonish way. She then nods as I openly express what's been bothering me.

"That is a predicament, Jiro."

"I swear that was also the most embarrassing moment of my life."

It really was. Crying in front of someone is one thing, asking them to stay is another.

"But there's still one thing that's still bothering me, why was I crying? First, I was utterly irritated at Uraraka and my boyfriend's closeness-"

"Maybe you're starting to value him as someone else that you have to protect, someone you genuinely care for maybe?"

"What made you say that?"

"You did say 'my boyfriend' in a possessive and jealous tone."

"Jealous?!"

"Yes, jealous."

"Why did you think I was jealous? Sure, we have an unusual relationship built out of... benefits, but I never really have that much of an interest in him."

"I may be wrong about this, but it is only an assumption. Though you may very well consider the chances that you actually are jealous of Uraraka."

I let that wander around my thoughts for a while, Momo may not be well-versed in things she hasn't experienced yet, but she's almost always accurate.

 _"Maybe you're starting to value him as someone else that you have to protect, someone you genuinely care for maybe?"_

Someone I genuinely care for...

The weekends are the best time to either go out and have fun or stay in your room and practice. I'm not really up today for the former and I'm pretty much stuck in doing nothing for the past hour. Though that maybe a drag, it's the only thing I can do.

After a while, I decided to go to the common room and wait for Momo to come home. She went out with Todoroki... _again_ , this time, a gift for his father. Huh, maybe Momo is really rubbing off on him if he decided to do just that. Looking out in the courtyard, I see a mesh of green hair that could only belong to Midoriya. Training as usual. I sat on the couch, carefully watched him for a good half-hour until I felt my eyelids heavy and eventually let myself doze off.

I hear them, a loud crowd calling my name.

I hear them all.

Calling me, screaming my name with joy. Each time just as fulfilling as the other. I turned to face my bandmates, smiling as I did... but nobody was there. I turned my attention back to the roaring crowd, only to find a single person, silent and unmoving. Everything else is just static. I can't help but notice the lone person in the distance, staring back at me.

I try to reach out until a second person appears and grabs them by the arm.

The second person drags the first one away from the stage... away from me.

The crowd came back in the instant the two figures disappeared, it's like the whole thing never happened. Calling me, chanting my name like a lyrical poem. I hear it all... over and over and over...

 _What the hell is this?_

"Kyoka!"

I jumped back to reality as I heard a familiar voice call me out. I opened my eyes and was met with a pair of yellow orbs, looking worried. My eyes then caught the person's hair, the same color as their eyes. _Heh_

Jamming-yay.

I rose up from the couch and tried to reach for my phone on the floor, I guess it fell when I dozed off. _My head hurts_. I turned to the courtyard, noticing the absence of the boy I was watching. It was already dark outside, _how long have I been out?_ I then faced the blond that woke me up.

"-ey... Kaminari..."

My voice was hoarse, I couldn't quite hear my own voice.

"J-Jiro, you should stay on your back, don't worry Midoriya already went to Recovery Girl."

What?

"Geez, Jiro, do you even know how hot you are right now?"

" **What the hell?!** "

"I-I-I mean **temperature**! How high your **temperature** is! You're practically burning."

Oh, I guess that makes more sense. Now that I think about it, everything does feel heavy. It took a while before Midoriya eventually returned to the dorm, worried and with prescription in hand. Damn it, there's that look again.

"Kyoka, how are you feeling?" Midoriya asked.

"Out of 1 to crap, I'd say crap." I said smirkingly, trying to put a smile on his face... and smile he did.

"Kaminari, can you please lead the way to her room?"

I noticed the blond nod as Midoriya carries me in his arms, cradling me. I heard the door to my room open and we entered. Midoriya laid me on my back once more, looking around the room possibly for a towel. When he did find a towel, he wiped the sweat off of my face and gave me a reassuring smile. Kaminari then entered the room, holding a glass of water. I then notice another person enter my room with a worried look on their face. It was Momo, it looks like she just got back. She then sighed as she saw who was with me.

"Guys... I'm fine. Nothing a little rest couldn't handle."

Midoriya took the glass of water from Kaminari's hand and thanked him. He then had me drink the medicine prescribed by Recovery Girl, the look of worry never leaving his features.

"I'm sorry for making you worry, everyone. I feel a lot better now, I swear.

"You sure?"

"Yes, Jamming-yay, I'm fine now."

He smiled then waved goodbye as he left the room.

"Get enough rest, Jiro. And if you need anything, Midoriya's here to get it."

Momo gave me a weak smile, nodding as she then left, closing the door and leaving us alone. There was tense silence afterwards. Midoriya sitting at the side of my bed, holding my hand tightly. I smiled at that. _Why do I have such an adorable boyfriend?_

"Midoriya."

He tensed hearing his name. _I wonder..._

"Izuku."

He tensed up even more. _Adorable._

"Are you okay?"

"I-I should be the one asking you that, Kyoka."

There goes that feeling inside me again...

"I'm sorry for making you worry, Izuku. I swear, I'm okay now."

He still has that worried look in his eyes, crud.

"It's okay, Kyoka... I'm just glad you're okay." he smiled.

He finally smiled for me.

"You must be tired, I-I'll leave you alone to get some rest now. If there's anything you need right now, just tell me."

He stood up, preparing to leave.

 _Anything...?_

"A goodnight kiss?"

He went stiff after hearing me say that.

"A-Are you sure?"

"Izuku, you are my boyfriend, right? Can I not have my goodnight kiss so I can rest to get better?"

"Y... You do have a point."

After giving in, he lowered his face so he could plant a kiss on my lips. We stayed still for a while, feeling the warm sensation of being with someone you trust and care for. Then I remembered something, it has been the first, right?

This was our first kiss as a couple.

Breaking off, Midoriya smiled as he gazed lovingly at me.

"Goodnight, Kyoka. See you tomorrow."

He then walked towards the door and opened it.

Screw it.

"Izuku,"

He stopped, turning to face me.

"I love you"

A wonderful smile then appeared on his face.

"I love you too, Kyoka"

Dreams are meant to represent the person's innate desires... according to some guy. My dream was... weird... but I think I understand now. I guess I am jealous... I'm afraid... Seeing the person I care for get dragged away from me... I can't handle it. I'm not entirely sure if what I told Midoriya is what I truly feel... but I do know that it's what I want to tell him now.

After all, I'm glad I have such an adorable boyfriend.


	5. Pause

For some reason, I broke up with Midoriya

Well... not exactly.

I don't know why, but our relationship just hit the pause button. Which makes me a bit more confused, had I not told him that we'll just be on a break for a while. Not even a single greeting was exchanged since.

One moment you started considering you actually like the guy, the next... well, he's suddenly distant. I guess it is my fault, since I'm the one that said we needed a break. But why isn't he talking to me?

 _I guess he hates me now..._

Well, at least he has someone that can actually protect that smile. He has Uraraka... Heh, it's long overdue... Even Momo was surprised to know that Midoriya even considered dating her when he has me...

I really am an idiot.

Almost everyone from class is currently in the common room, with the exception of Bakugo and surprisingly, Kaminari. Sitting down on the couch was a bad idea, especially when your ex-boyfriend and his current girlfriend is right next to you. I could only gaze at the hot cup of cocoa Momo gave me earlier, I haven't even touched it yet. Uraraka and Midoriya are currently cuddling right beside me, the former trying to look for a new scar tissue on the latter's skin. I can't take this anymore.

"Deku, calm down! I just have to check for marks-"

I stood up and sighed, trying to think of something to say at this situation... but nothing came out. Noticing a surprised look from Uraraka, I turned to face Midoriya. He's still avoiding me, his eyes focused somewhere else.

Screw this.

I stormed off, walking to the courtyard to breathe. I want to scream. I want to yell. I want to...

I want to cry.

I sat on the ground thinking about what happened with me and Midoriya... how we split.

It was the day after I told him I _love_ him.

"Good morning Izuku"

"G-Good morning to you too, Kyoka. It's nice to see you doing okay."

I nodded as he greeted me back, I then turned to see him talking to someone on the phone.

"Isn't it a little bit too early to be talking to someone on the phone?"

"I-It's my mom, she just wanted to know how I was doing."

I didn't mind it, it was his mother. I'm not gonna be like those paranoid girlfriends that are so crazy even with text messages.

"Are you free tonight?"

I have plans for him tonight, I think it's about time we actually do what actual couples do... That is to go on a date.

"I'm not, s-sorry... I'm having dinner with a f-friend, h-he recently came back to town. I wanna hang out with him."

 **Liar.** Dude, we've been over this, you are a terrible liar. I tried to roll along with it, I mean I have to trust him with this one. He's my boyfriend and he can have dinner with anyone he likes, that is how much I trust hin. He'll probably meet with a girl... but I'll trust him with this one.

"Next time then"

"Sure, Kyoka, whenever you want."

Later that day, I received a text from Mina to gather up in her room. She said something about ' _a day we will never forget'_.

"So what is it you wanted to talk about, Mina-chan?" Tsu asked first, sitting next to Tooru

"I did say this will be a day we will never forget, because our dear Ochako here has something to say."

I could distinctly hear the aforementioned girl's heartbeat raising as Mina gave her the moment to speak. What is she gonna say?

"I'll confess to Midoriya tonight."

 _What?_

I hear cheers from my classmates, mainly Tooru and Mina. I noticed Momo giving me a worried look, _I swear I don't know this was happening_.

"How do you plan on doing so, Ochako-chan?"

"I'll do it after dinner, when we're alone."

"How? Midoriya's going somewhere tonight?" I asked, wishing I was wrong with this.

"That was me, I asked him have a dinner with me tonight."

 _Huh?_

"Bold! Ochako, Bold!"

"Way to go, girl!"

I noticed Momo, shift her position right beside.

"Jiro..."

" **Don't do it.** "

 _What?_

"Huh?"

"Don't confess."

I thought it was gonna be me... but it wasn't. It was Momo that interjected.

"Please think about this through, Uraraka. What happens if Midoriya wouldn't feel the same way?"

"Then I'll gladly accept his rejection."

An instant reaction.

 _Damn it._

"Then you should do it."

This time, it was me that spoke.

"If that's what you really feel, dude, just do what you think is right... and right now, telling him how you feel is right."

I felt Momo's hand grasp mine tightly. I eventually excused myself from the chat and walked towards the common room.

"Why'd you do it?"

Momo...

"Where you that confident that Midoriya would choose you over her?"

"No. I'm one hundred percent sure he'll say yes to her in an instant... cuz that's how it was meant to be."

" **Kyoka-!** "

"Right now, Izuku can love whomever he loves."

 _"If that's what you really feel, dude, just do what you think is right... and right now, telling him how you feel is right."_

I hate myself for saying that.

"And right now, I'll do what I think is right."

"Kyoka..."

"He won't accomplish anything if he's with me. If he's with her, he'll finally receive all the love he deserves... the love I can't give him."

I'm being so uncharacteristically different, I know... But I guess being with Midoriya has changed me.

"Don't worry Momo, I'll do it so he won't lose that smile."

I was mentally scolding myself as I went to Midoriya's room, trying to think of what to say. I then found myself in front of his door, reaching to knock...

 **BAM!**

"Ow!"

I was broken off from a trance when something just fell on top of me. Something really squishy...

"You seem to like where you're holding, huh?"

Shit!

It's not something... someone. The person then got off of me and stood up to reveal themselves. It was a woman... and she was wearing our gym uniform. She's nearly the same height as I am, taller even. She had large, dusky green eyes and long eyelashes. Her teeth are long and notably pointed, which reminds me with that of a dinosaur. Her dark green hair, just passing her shoulders, wavy and beautiful. I recognize her from Class B...

Setsuna Tokage

"Good evening!"

What the hell is she doing here?

"If you're wondering why I'm here, I came to try surprise you guys by trying to drop my hand on top of you."

"Please don't do that. That is extremely freaky."

"It's just a prank, Jiro!"

This woman.

"Are you even allowed to do that?"

"Well, it ain't exactly illegal if you aren't caught."

That is wrong on so many levels.

"I was kinda hoping I could talk to you more though, we haven't properly met yet. Whenever I try to talk to you-"

"Monoma goes on about your class and mine."

"Yeah!"

We had a good laugh at that.

"But in all seriousness, I'm not really like him. If anything, I'm more interested in what your class has to offer."

"Then you came trying to scare the wrong person."

"Geez, you're no fun."

Is she pouting? Cuz if she is, it's really adorable.

"Wanna come by my room? We can talk better there."

"Oh my gosh, Kyoka Jiro. We haven't even held hands yet, and now you're asking me to come to your room? I never pegged you to be this bold!"

"Not like that!"

She laughed hard at my reaction. It is ridiculous... but I wouldn't really mind.

Setsuna Tokage is a beautiful woman. Any person would be really lucky just to talk to her, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think she was hot. And honestly, I wouldn't mind going out with her... that is if she swings that way too, of course.

I take in the moment that filled me satisfaction at the moment, I immersed myself in her smile.

I hope this would be enough for now.


	6. Cadenza

For some reason, I want to get over Midoriya

It's already been a week since my last decent conversation with Midoriya. We did talk during classes... but he still avoids my gazes and refuses to look me in the eyes when talking. I honestly feel like shit...

Normally on days like these, I hang out with either Momo or Midoriya. Currently, I'm hanging out with Setsuna Tokage... and I have been for a couple of days now. I gotta be honest, Tokage brings out something in me. Most of the time, she talks about her day with utter glee, which reminds me of Mina but the aura is more relaxed. She opens up to me about what and how she feels, and how she deals with it, even if they're really personal. This doesn't happen normally, but I don't really mind hearing her out...

I myself began to open up to her too.

I don't usually open up to anyone other than my parents or Momo, the people I know I can trust. I trust her enough to tell her about my situation with Midoriya, my relationship with him and how I ended it. I trust her enough to let my guard down when it comes to these secrets.

Classes just ended for the day, everyone is walking back to the dorms. Walking to the dorms all at the same time is a drag, especially when you see your ex-boyfriend with his current girlfriend, arm in arm. Even though I ended things between us, seeing them together never did fail to irritate me. I glance at Tokage, observing her features. She has that serene look on her, facing down as we walk side by side. I found myself at ease, having forgotten what I was irritated about. Probably noticing my gaze on her, she faced me and smiled slyly.

"Now don't you fall in love with me, Kyoka Jiro."

"W-What?!"

"Kidding!"

She bursted into laughter after seeing how I reacted, _damn this woman for being this cunning_. I just returned my gaze at the path we're walking on, smiling to myself...

 _Fall in love with her... That would be nice..._

"I finally got a smile from you!"

"What?"

Have I been smiling?

"Dude, it's been a while since I saw you smile."

"We laughed at Monoma and Kendo during lunch."

"That wasn't as beautiful as this one though."

"H-Hey! What are you saying?!"

She just continued to laugh at my reaction. It took a while before she finally stop and calm herself down.

"Geez, you better stop saying things like that, else I'll actually fall for you..."

"Then that would be fine, awesome even."

"What?!"

"Calm down, Kyoka!"

"Dude!"

I feel my face heat up in embarassment _._ _Dude! What the hell?!_

"I'm serious though. I wouldn't mind you liking me like that, I honesty think that it's actually great."

"Why would you say that?"

"Cuz I like you."

 _What?_

"Dude, I'm serious, stop joking around."

"But I actually do."

 _Is she for real?_

"Why would you say that to me though?"

"I don't really mind telling you, I think it's better that I tell you myself instead of hearing it from a gossip. I don't really like it when people got to tell you that I love you before I do."

I have heard that Tokage's quite open about herself, I just didn't know she was _**this**_ open.

"Though I am quite surprised I've managed to keep it this long."

"Dude, we've known each other for about a week. I mean we have known each other before, but we never really spoke."

"And I still like you. It doesn't matter if we just recently met, all that matters is that I want to keep feeling this way. I feel happy when I'm with you. I couldn't really put much of what I feel into words, but I feel as if I always want to be with you."

That still doesn't...

 _All that matters is that I want to keep feeling this way..._

 _"I'm sorry! But I don't know how to put what I feel into words, I can't understand it myself. I don't know how I love you, but I don't doubt it either."_

A feeling that can't be put into words...

"Please... Please don't leave me..."

A feeling that can't be doubted...

 _Is this really love?_

Silence consumed the two of us as we walk to our dorms, I honestly think that the awkwardness can be visibly seen radiating off of me. _I'll do what I think is right._

"Tokage, I have a question."

"Hmm? Shoot."

"Even if I wouldn't feel the same way, would you still love me?"

"Of course. I love you because I feel like it, not because I want you to feel the same... and according to what you said, making you feel the same way shouldn't be a problem."

She smiled gleefully. I really can't tell if she's serious or not... but some part in me wants her to be. When she smiled, I felt a funny feeling inside my stomach... similar to when I saw Midoriya's smile...

"I guess... I really wouldn't mind..."

"Wouldn't mind what?"

"Falling in love with you"

"You don't have to."

"But I want to. I'm doing it because I feel like it... and I'm not about to disappoint someone who loves me, not again."

I didn't regret my actions then, I won't regret my actions now.

"If you wouldn't mind, Setsuna... I can be your girlfriend."

"Then I would gladly take you up on that offer!"

I want to do things differently now, I want to know what it feels like to truly be in love with someone.

To truly know what I really feel.


	7. Strange

For some reason, I'm walking around the mall with Midoriya

And it is really strange.

Today is Setsuna's birthday, we've been dating for two weeks now. Though much like my first relationship, this one is still a secret. I don't think I'm ready to let others know that I'm dating Setsuna Tokage from Class B. I asked Midoriya to go with me to the mall to look for a perfect birthday gift for Setsuna. Harsh? Hell no, he brought Uraraka. He said it's the perfect chance to finally go out and not feel uncomfortable with each other. Despite being rather irritated by their radiating love for each other, I actually enjoy Uraraka's company when shopping. We ended up buying clothes for ourselves, but that didn't mean that I didn't get what I came here for.

I bought Setsuna a dinosaur plushy.

Though it sounds lazy, it's all I could honestly think of that she'd appreciate. Plus, I think it's cute. It's currently noon and Uraraka seems like she's really hungry. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. The same place where me and Midoriya...

 _"P-Please... don't hate me-"_

"Is there anything else you'd like to get, Jiro?"

Uraraka asked me while looking at the menu, I looked around to see Midoriya in line to give our orders.

"Jiro, I have a question."

"What is it, Uraraka?"

"How long were you and Deku?"

My eyes widen in shock after hearing that.

"What?"

"How long were you two dating?"

"What are you talking about Uraraka?"

"You of all people know Deku is a terrible liar, Jiro. I asked him if he felt uncomfortable hanging out with you, he said it's because you two weren't on good terms with each other because he lost your guitar pick. All I had to do is ask someone else from the floor. Someone who cares about you too much."

Someone who cares about me too much? _Who?_ I never thought I'd ever say this, but Uraraka is actually _really_ scary. Plus she can easily kick my ass if we spar, there's that too.

"We... We weren't dating."

"Huh?"

"Izuku probably knows it too. It's just a brief relationship between him and I. He wanted to end it almost immediately because he felt like he doesn't deserve me. I... I asked him to stay with me... and he did. I just couldn't let him go."

Uraraka looks really serious as she listens to me, my fear of her greatly lessens the more I talk to her.

"When you said you'd confess to him, I knew that I just have to do it... You two deserve each other, Uraraka. All this time, he was afraid that he wasn't enough for me... But in truth, _I'm not enough for him._ "

"Jiro..."

"Besides, it all turned out good for everyone in the end. You guys happily dating, and I'm really happy with Setsuna."

"I'm... sorry for doubting you, Jiro."

"Don't worry, love is something you shouldn't doubt. You're only doing what you think is right."

"Though I did learn something new today."

"What?"

"That you _are_ dating Tokage."

 _Shit_. I kinda slipped on that one...

"T-That's-"

"Relax! I wouldn't tell a soul!"

"There's three of you now..."

"Who were the others?"

"You, Kendo, and Midoriya."

Kendo found out when she was looking for Setsuna's hand during lunch... and that time she found Setsuna's torso in my room. Why the hand? She wants to hold mine in secret, says it's _exciting_. Why just the torso? I honestly don't know. Midoriya found out when Setsuna was not so secretly flirting with me during breaks.

"Not even Momo knew?"

"She's the only person I told my previous relationship to, I don't want her to think I'm the type of person to just jump around relationships from one person to another."

"She won't think that, Jiro, she's your best friend. She'll understand if you explain it to her."

"Sorry it took a while, there was an old lady in line and I have to let her finish first."

Midoriya arrives with a tray carrying our food, apologizing as he lowers it.

"No, don't be. If anything, I should apologize for being the third wheel."

"Hey, if it weren't for you Jiro, we wouldn't even be a thing." Uraraka said while smiling, _I guess it is true..._

After a while, we went back to the dorms together. Dropping off the couple in front of our dorm, thanking them and waving off. I made my way to Class B's dorm quite hesitantly. I kinda forgot some of them hates us, especially a certain blond. I reach the door and try to text my girlfriend before entering but was interrupted when the door was opened by someone I really don't want to see today. _Damn Mo-_

" ** _HUH?!_ WHAT IS THIS?! A STUDENT FROM CLASS A IN OUR DORM?! _WHAT?!_ IS YOUR DORM TOO DISAPPOINTING TO STAY IN?! IS IT THAT BAD THAT EVEN YOU WOULD WA-!**"

Monoma was cut off by a pair of huge hands, grabbing his entire body and covering his mouth in the process. Thank you, Kendo.

"Hi Jiro! If you're looking for the birthday girl, she's in the common room. Come in."

I smiled at that welcoming response from Kendo, hopefully everyone else is as nice as she is. Though I do feel daggers pointed at me as I enter their common room, I try to look for the birthday girl only to find... literallt her head on a platter on the table.

"Hi Kyoka!"

"Happy Birthday, Setsuna."

I hug the... head of my girlfriend, and lifted her up on my arms to carry her like an infant.

"Is there any way I can speak to you... _wholly_?"

She snickers at that, sticking out her tongue jokingly.

"In my room, just carry me there."

I carried her to her room, putting her down for a moment to open the door. As I opened the door, I try to find the light switch. After turning on the light, I immediately turned it back off. _Why?_ Well I was greeted by Setsuna's body laying... _provocatively_ on her bed with just the disheveled sheets to cover most of her body. I heard her laugh at my reaction. _Geez, woman, you're lucky Mineta isn't in your class!_

"How did you get downstairs just as a head?"

"I asked Kendo to help me. She had the same reaction after seeing me on the bed."

I sighed at her response, lifting her up once more to place her head back to where it belongs.

"Here's your gift."

"Geez, Kyoka, having you here is enough as a gift."

" _Heh_ "

I gotta admit, that made my heart skip a beat. _I heard it_. I handed her the shopping bag and she hurriedly grabbed it, peeking on what's inside.

"Is it by any chance a dinosaur plushy?"

"E-Eh?"

"It's my... _fi_ _fth_ tonight."

"Sorry..."

That was embarrassing... I guess it really _was_ a lazy gift idea. She gestured for me to sit beside her on her bed, I obliged.

"Hey, Kyoka. Thank you."

"But it's your fifth one"

"Yeah, but they're not really from the woman I love now are they?"

"I had to spend a day with Izuku and Uraraka for that gift."

"And I gladly appreciate that you'll go that far."

 _I feel really terrible that I got her that gift..._

"Setsuna... I... I don't know if I'm doing enough to be your girlfriend... I feel as if I'm _inadequate_."

"Hey, _Jack_ , it's fine. It's okay if it's like my fifth dinosaur; the more, the merrier. Now I can make them fight like actual dinosaurs! You're not inadequate, you're just not used to this yet. Trust me, I will keep being with you for as long as you would want me to."

 _Huh?_

"Why do I get the feeling I've heard of that somewhere before?"

"Because it's true, Kyoka. Being in a relationship doesn't have to be equal in terms of being adequate for one another. It's only equal by how much you'd love one another."

She holds my hand, grasping it... holding it tightly.

"But what if I can't love you as much as you love me?"

"Then don't. You say that you would do what you think is right, correct? At the moment, what do you think is right for you?"

"I want you to be happy... I want to love you too."

"Right now... What do you feel?"

"I..."

She looks me in the eyes, preparing for an answer that might disappoint her.

What do I truly feel?

 _"I'm sorry! But I don't know how to put what I feel into words, I can't understand it myself. I don't know how I love you, but I don't doubt it either."_

Even if I wouldn't feel the same way?

 _"Of course. I love you because I feel like it, not because I want you to feel the same..."_

Even if it's not enough?

 _"All this time, he was afraid that he wasn't enough for me... But in truth, I'm not enough for him."_

 _"Please... Please don't leave me..."_

 _ **Stay with me, because I'll stay with you.**_

 _I loved him..._

"I love Izuku Midoriya..."

Setsuna sighs at my answer, smiling ever so beautifully...

 _So that's how it was..._

"I know I can't love you as much as you love me... but let me stay with you to keep loving you, Setsuna."

"Is that how you truly feel?"

I know it's what I want, it's how I truly feel.

"I love you, Setsuna Tokage."

"I love you _more_ , Kyoka Jiro."

"Geez, I was having a moment!"

"It's just to say that we both love each other, maybe not equally, but we still do."

She said that in all seriousness, yet still lovingly. Setsuna smiles as she looks at the plushy she was currently holding, that smile that made me fall in love with her..

"Happy birthday, Setsuna."

Even if it's not enough, I won't stop loving you.


	8. Flowers

For some reason, I find myself back to Midoriya

Halloween in the dorm is... wild, like really wild. Our theme was 'comic book', so thankfully, no spooks. Everyone was wearing a costume, from Midoriya's All Might to Mineta's... Endeavor, much to Todoroki's dismay. Mina thought it was a good idea to have a Halloween Party at the common room, and even though Mr. Aizawa did not allow it, Ms. Midnight gave us the go signal. Even our class representatives are participating.

"Jiro, are you even wearing a costume?" Momo asked curiously.

She was wearing a costume that reminds me of a particular hero I've read about; black tailcoat with white long sleeved shirt underneath, a bowtie and a vest, a pair of white gloves, a black skirt, fishnet stockings, boots, and a top hat. Our dear Momo Yaoyorozu is wearing a magician's outfit. She looks absolutely stunning. If I weren't dating anyone at the moment, I'd be gladly asking her out.

"You're not the first one that asked me that, Momo."

Though considering the costume I'm wearing, I find it hard that people can't really tell who I was dressed as. I'm wearing a black hoodie jacket underneath a gray denim jacket, dark purple tights underneath two belts and pink shorts, and a pair of black boots that reaches below my knee. A pair of black fingerless gloves on my hands, goggles on my head, necklace on my neck, and a round sling bag with a star print hung over my shoulder.

I noticed Kaminari approaching me, I took a good look at his outfit. He's basically just wearing a brown bomber jacket and dark green cargo pants, he looks like a character from a video game.

Does that even count as comic book?

"Sup Rammy!"

"Someone finally gets it! Sup, Jamming-yay. Off to save the president's daughter?"

"Stop calling me that!"

We shared a good laugh about each other's costume for quite a while, it's been a long time since I've had a decent conversation with Kaminari. I noticed Midoriya in the courtyard, sitting all alone.

Why though?

Is it because his All Might outfit looks ridiculous?

"Poor Midoriya, he looks like a wreck..."

I looked over who said that, it was Mineta. The look on his face is quite different... He was quite out of character, yes, but he genuinely looks like he could understand what Midoriya is going through.

Shit.

"What happened?"

"Uraraka broke up with him, says they don't even feel like a couple. Can't blame her though, they may look and feel like a couple, but they're like a weird brother-sister thing when they were dating."

For some reason, my blood seems to be boiling... and surprisingly, Mineta is not the reason why.

I try and speak to Midoriya... but I can't even approach him. After a while in the courtyard, he returned to his room. I want to talk to him... but I don't even know what to say.

Now I know why my blood was boiling... It's not because of Mineta, or Uraraka. It's because Midoriya's hurting... and I can't do anything about it.

As the night was about to come to an end, Mina named the 'best dressed' students of the night. Momo won on the ladies side, obviously, not even Mina could compare.

"And for the boys... It's... What?! Is this even real?! Who voted?!"

Momo looked at Mina's list, and was surprised herself.

"Mineta."

While most of the boys seemed to be laughing their asses of, Mineta genuinely looks honored and grateful to be the 'best dressed' of the men.

What happened to him? He legitimately looks decent.

Feeling my phone vibrating in my pocket, I pull it out to see Setsuna calling me.

"Hey Setsuna, what's up?"

"I know it's not really my place to ask you this, but I did hear something from Kendo. Is it true that Midoriya and Uraraka broke up?"

"I guess so, Izuku looks like a wreck, it's like he hasn't been sleeping again."

"Hey Kyoka, if you... decided to _cheer_ him up, I wouldn't really mind. I know this must be hard on you too, but right now, you're all he's got."

I decided to return to my room earlier than everybody else, I've had enough of the day and wanted to lay on a bed.

Though there's still something bothering me...

Uraraka broke up with Midoriya.

Instead of being on the third floor, I found myself on the second, in front of his...

"Izuku..."

No answer.

"Are you awake?"

Still no response.

"Listen... If you need someone, I'm here... Got it?"

I waited for a response, but still nothing...

It wasn't long until I hear the door open and was met by Midoriya, heavy bags can be seen below his eyes. He looks distressed, like he hasn't been sleeping again.

"Kyoka..."

"What is it, dude? I'm here..."

He pulled me into a hug, it's been a while since I've last had one of those.

"I need you... Kyoka..."

It's not long until I myself hugged him back, welcoming him into my comfort zone. We stayed like this for a while...

Until I felt his lips on mine.

I responded, I returned the kiss and was utterly consumed by the tension between us. He pulled me into his room, locking the door in the process. He lifted me up, carrying me in his arms as he showered me with affection. He laid me on my back over his bed, breaking off the kiss as we catch our breaths.

"Are we really doing this again?"

Izuku nodded... Overcame by my feelings, I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Keep the goggles on?"

I _am_ glad that he got rid of the All Might costume...

The night was longer than I expected it to be. Waking up in the morning next to the person you love gives you a really funny feeling that you might not have felt before.

Seeing his face like this... It's comforting.

Are there flowers in my heart? Cuz I could've sworn there are butterflies in my stomach.


	9. Restart

For some reason, I'm sure of one thing about Midoriya

I'm sure that I love him, and I would do anything to be with him.

It was such a drag that you basically don't have a way to do things you secretly want to in the dorms, including sneaking in and out of another classmate's room.

I woke up earlier than usual, too early that the sun hasn't even risen yet. Shifting my gaze from the sheets to the person beside me... I felt something inside me flutter, I smiled after seeing his loving face. It didn't take long for me to put my clothes back on and leave the room in secret, but not before planting a kiss on his forehead.

 _I'll see you later..._

Sneaking out of the room was a success... _sort of_. As I opened the door, I was greeted by someone I'm sure I don't want to have a conversation with in the morning.

 _Uraraka._

"Jiro..."

 _Crap._

"I have to go-"

"Wait!"

Uraraka grabbed my arm tightly as I start to walk away, her grip getting stronger the more I try to move.

"Can we talk?"

"We're already talking... plus, I need to go back to my room."

"Please, Jiro... I need to talk to you."

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I try to reach for it and check.

"My room, five minutes. I just have to answer this call."

She let go of my hand as I pulled out my phone, checking what it was about.

Setsuna's calling.

I reached my room and decided to call back, hoping to explain what happened last night.

"Morning, gorgeous! How was the night?" Setsuna greeted ever so cheerfully, I suddenly feel terrible for sleeping with Midoriya behind her back.

"Uneventful, my head hurts... By the way, why are you up so early?"

"Someone had to clean up last night's mess. Besides, I'm used to waking up this early."

My stomach churned the longer his conversation gets... I couldn't really keep this a secret from her.

"Setsuna I-"

"Slept with Izuku?"

"I know!"

 _How could she know?!_

"H-How?! N-Nevermind that! Are... Are you mad?"

Setsuna trusts me as much as I trust her... Sleeping with my ex would probably break that trust, but I don't want her to be mad at me.

"Geez, Kyoka, I did tell you I wouldn't mind if you _cheered_ him up. I know how much you love him, and I'm willing to let you be happy too... I just wouldn't want you to regret what you do and be happy for doing what you think is right for once."

"Still... I'm sorry for doing it, Setsuna."

"I already said I don't mind! What kind of girlfriend would I be if I wouldn't let the person I love be happy with what she does?"

I'm really thankful I have Setsuna by my side... I just couldn't shake off this guilt that I cheated on her with Izuku...

"Plus, I had a great show last night."

"What?"

" _Keep the goggles on_ "

 _What the hell?!_

"Where'd you hear that?!"

"I have eyes and ears, Kyoka. _Eyes and ears._ "

Okay... So my girlfriend basically gave me permission to sleep with my ex-boyfriend... _and she watched through the entire thing_...?

I don't even want to question it anymore, I'm just happy she's not actually mad at me.

"Listen, Setsuna, I gotta go. There's someone I need to talk to at the moment. Talk to you later?"

"You're telling me everything later~"

I really still have to apologize to her for sleeping with Midoriya. I laid on my bed, grabbed my bass and played for a while, strumming to the tune of a song playing in my head. It's not long until I heard a knock on my door, I felt too lazy to even stand as I called the person in.

"I'm here, Jiro..."

"Take a seat, I'll just... stay where I am."

My visitor sat on my chair as I remained lying on the bed, fixing my gaze on the usually bubbly figure sitting right before me.

"So... Jiro, how's it going?"

"Uraraka, we already know what we're going to talk about so why don't we start already?"

Uraraka flinched as I went and directly cut to the chase, I guess I may have been too harsh with that one.

"You probably have heard of what happened between me and Deku... I just want to say a few things. I broke up with him because we honestly felt more like really close siblings than a couple. I don't want that to be the cause of our breakup but... I just get the feeling that... he loves you more than me."

I remained silent, not knowing how to respond. I really suck at these talks, but I know that this one had to happen.

"Deku is... honestly, the one person I would love without conditions... But I just can't continue with this relationship if his love for you obviously overshadows mine... I'm... I'm sorry if I got in the way of the two of you, I'm sorry if I snatched him away from you... I-"

"Uraraka, that's _bullshit_."

"What?"

"You know you're lucky enough to actually have the same feelings as he does."

If anything, I'm the one that should be saying those things to you.

"You and Izuku had something really special, and I respect that... I just don't want to see him hurt like that... I don't want him to lose that smile on his face."

"If you love something, you have to let it go... In this case, _someone_."

"What?"

"Jiro, I let him go because I'd rather have the two of you together than apart."

Her shoulders lowered as she stared at the floor of my room, looking tired yet relaxed at the same time.

"Uraraka..."

"It's as you said, I don't want to see him hurt. I don't want him to lose that smile... If I couldn't let him be happy, what kind of girlfriend would I be?"

 _"I already said I don't mind! What kind of girlfriend would I be if I wouldn't let my lover be happy with what she does?"_

Setsuna...

"That's not to say I will stop loving him..."

"Uraraka-"

"I may not be the one for him, but I will gladly support him in finding the real one."

I let that one ring into my head for a while, even after that conversation. Me and Uraraka eventually settled things and finally had the talk that would keep us from falling apart... There's one more person I need to talk to.

I need to talk to Setsuna.

I asked my girlfriend to meet me at the park this afternoon to finally talk about last night, I took a shower and a fresh change of clothes before eventually walking out of the dorm.

Arriving at the park, I saw Setsuna sitting on one of the swings. I approached her and sat on the swing beside her.

"How was your night?"

"You already know what happened."

She laughed as she continued to tease me of the events of last night. _Why do I get the feeling that this may be the last time we'll ever share a conversation like this?_

"So what will become of us?"

I wouldn't really like to hear those words coming from the person I care about... but I guess after everything I've done, it was bound to happen.

"Setsuna... I really am sorry for everything."

"No don't, I enjoyed it."

"The night?"

She bursted into laughter after my retort, although I knew what she meant, I wanted to hear her laugh to lighten the mood.

"Though I do wish that even after we're no longer a thing, we'll still hang out with each other."

"Whenever you need me, I'll be there..."

"That's what I love about you!"

Standing up from the swing, Setsuna walked and stood in front of me. She sighed and pulled me into an embrace, which I returned affectionately. The hug felt lovingly yet melancholic. I know what this hug meant... so I held onto her tighter and kept this until we both felt like it.

"Even if you won't stay with me like you used to, I'll still stay with you up until the end."

I smirked at her statement.

"Idiot, I'll always be with you"

One more person to talk to...


	10. Last

"For some reason, I feel like sleeping through the entire day with you."

"What?"

No, seriously... What?

I took the long way back to the dorm and walked from the park, I'm not really in a rush to go home. Besides... I want to spend more time with Setsuna before officially breaking us off... That went harder than I thought it would.

Midoriya was sitting in the common room, tensed, staring at his phone intently. He looked like that until he saw me enter the room, he went from tense to extremely tense.

"Chill dude."

"But it's true, Kyoka... I don't feel like doing anything productive today..."

Geez, I think I corrupted him.

As much as I want to talk to him now, I really have to talk to someone else.

"Hey, Izuku, have you seen Momo?"

"She was just here a minute ago, I guess she probably went back to her room."

"Thanks... and uh, meet me at my room later?"

"O-Okay..."

I made my way to Momo's room, I really owe her an explanation after all of this. I waited in front of her door, thinking of what to say to her.

I should apologize for dragging her into this.

I opened the door, hoping to see her seated by her desk, studying. I don't know if it was me or I just saw her on the bed... holding hands with Todoroki.

I guess... that happened.

"J-Jiro!"

I immediately closed the door after seeing a flustered Momo looking back at me. I should've knocked first.

"Wait, Jiro!"

I heard the door open behind my back and I was greeted by my best friend standing nervously and blushing furiously. Adorable.

"I-I can explain!"

"No need, I just want to talk Momo... but it looks like you're pretty much occupied at the moment."

"N-No! I... I want to talk too."

"I'll leave you two for a moment."

"Thanks, Todoroki"

We sat on her bed, unable to start the conversation we both wanted to have.

"So... uh, you and Todoroki?"

I guess I got us into this mess, I should talk first.

"Y-Yeah, it came to me as a surprise as well..."

Darling, if you're someone else from class, I'm pretty sure surprise would be the word used to describe what took you two too long.

"How are you and Tokage?"

"We... kinda broke it off"

"What?!"

I want to tell her every single detail of how my relationship with Setsuna ended... but I don't want her to think I'm making another mistake.

This time, I'm sure of what I actually feel.

"She and I were just too perfect for each other... or so she says. We ended on pretty good terms."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be, it was mutual. She deserves someone who can match her own love."

I have to tell her...

"Momo, I'm sorry..."

"What for?"

"For dragging you into all of this. You even told Uraraka that confessing may be a bad idea... I had you listen through how I feel about Midoriya, I hadn't realized how much I have been troubling you too."

"Don't apologize, Jiro. I listened to you because I'm your friend. Besides, it all kind of paid off in the end."

"Yeah, since when have you and Todoroki been a thing?"

She grew flustered at my question. Momo, please don't stop being my friend. After our conversation, I made my way back to my room.

I opened the door to my room and found Midoriya, sitting on the bed. He looks like a kid being called to the principal's office for the first time. Cute.

I sat beside him, trying to come up with what I want to say. Even though I wanted to get this over with immediately, I find myself a bit troubled and unable to speak. What exactly so we need to talk about? I mean I just knew I had to talk to him... but I don't think I actually know how to proceed from there.

"I-If you wouldn't mind, Kyoka, I'll talk first."

"S...Shoot"

Talking first has never really been my forte, unless it's a snide remark or a joke that's totally uncalled for. I'm guessing from his shivering legs and tensed features, these talks weren't his forte either. I guess that's one thing we actually have in common.

"I know... we might've drifted apart before... and you might think that I got over you almost immediately when I dated Ochako, but that's not..."

He shifted on his seat a bit nervously, restlessly even... I find myself doing the exact same thing.

"May I talk now, Izuku?"

He nods in response, he looks like he's about to explode. I don't really want to cut him off, but if he's that uncomfortable with this at least we can both be uncomfortable... together. Is that even a good thing?

"Thank you. First off, I just want to ask. What do you want us to be? What's to become of us right after this?"

He shifted even more from his seat after hearing the question, I guess asking him that was a bad idea. Scratch that, terrible (i) idea. Now he's sweating furiously, I don't know how to proceed from now on...

"I want to pursue this... Us."

I felt the butterflies in my stomach move even crazier hearing that. I smiled.

"Then tell me, Izuku. Would you still love me even if I'm the worst person in the world?"

"I would..."

"Would you still love me even if I hurt your feelings like the last time?"

"I... I would."

"Would you still love me even if I don't love you back?"

"I would."

Then you shouldn't. Because a love like that isn't worth pursuing... Not for me...

"Izuku..."

I truly know what I feel now.

"I love you."

I don't know why, but I do.

"All the more reason why I would continue loving you, Kyoka."

For a reason, I want this... us to last.


End file.
